9.9.13

Punch-a-Bear Archives      Drawing for 9.9.13

Yo, yo, yo. I hope you are having a magnificent Monday.

As it happens, I have a magnificent sunburn. It makes my neck hurt when things touch it. The more you know. I am going to have an enviable partial tan later, though. Reap them rewards.

Etching things is always mysterious. You never know exactly what is going to happen. At least not if you’ve only done it twice in your life. The way to keep activities mysterious is to do them infrequently.

Indeedily doodily.

Futurely: Tumblr, Facebook, and Twitter.

Love,
Tabia B.
MC Etcher

9.4.13

Punch-a-Bear Archives      Drawing for 9.4.13

Hey. Today is garbage day. Beautiful truck sounds to start out your morning.

I feel like we started out Birthday Month pretty well with the Emperor Norton drawing. And we are just taking it to the next level with floating babies. Or a floating baby. One is enough. One is one more than enough, actually.

Okay, kids, check this out: Lycurgus cup. How about them Romans? I always say that they are useless assholes, but sometimes I am wrong. Sometimes they make (made) a pretty cool drinking vessel.

No babies: Tumblr, Facebook, and Twitter.

Love,
Tabia B.
Non-Breeder

9.2.13

Punch-a-Bear Archives      Drawing for 9.2.13

Hi. A good day to you, my friend.

Well, so, as it turns out, one of the foremost politicians in the 1800s was thought to be essentially “touched.” Or, I guess you could say, “eccentric.” And because of that, almost nothing he tried to get accomplished got accomplished.

That is government for you.

Emperor Norton is the only authority I recognize, outside of The Individual.

This means that I cannot be arrested in this country. Or any country. Except The Land of the Dead.

When I say “Not my president,” I mean it.

In Norton We Trust: Tumblr, Facebook, and Twitter.

Love,
Tabia B.
Ombudsman to the Damned

8.28.13

Punch-a-Bear Archives      Drawing for 8.28.13

Good morning. Congratulations to the winner of the PAB contest, Mr. Cavanaugh.

Sometimes things that are bad happen in life. For instance, someone sprays lemonade in your eyes. What do you do? Make them lick the lemonade out of your eyes. Gee, I don’t know.

Sleepy time marathon. I am hungry and sleepy and my gums hurt.

I hope you have a nice day. Yes, you.

8.26.13

Punch-a-Bear Archives      Drawing for 8.26.13

Howdy. So, the contest is over, as of Wednesday last. The winner will be announced on this coming Wednesday. That’s pretty exciting. Thank you to those who participated. You are a winner in my heart.

My heart is gross.

Why must our ideas of what is alien conform so closely to our ideas of what is not alien? I honestly hate bipeds.

I don’t hate bipeds. I’m sorry if I made you feel bad.

Hundreds of coats: Tumblr, Facebook, and Twitter.

Love,
Tabia B.
Alien Grape

8.21.13

Punch-a-Bear Archives      Drawing for 8.21.13

My feet, both of my feet, are irreparably asleep. There’s nothing I can do about it. I am stuck in my office (living room). Sorry, I will not be attending my job today.

Today is the very last day for the contest. Go to the Facebook page for last minute entries and general information.

Whoa, look a special guest appearance by me.

I feel like I used to care a lot more about very specific things about people. I don’t care what you do now, as long as I can ignore it and read my book.

Advice: don’t look inside.

8.14.13

Punch-a-Bear Archives      Drawing for 8.14.13

Hi. I am not sure what today is, but it marks the start of the Number Two Mildly Annual Punch-a-Bear Contest.This is your chance to win really cool items you could just as easily buy.

Ah, Ben Jonson. That ne’er-do-well.

He was watching me eat my breakfast sandwich.

So, yes, a wonderful Punch-a-Bear contest is happening NOW.

1. Get a friend to like the Facebook page OR share the page on a friend’s wall

2. Email me at tabiab @ punchabear.com and tell me the name of your friend who liked PAB OR email me a screenshot of the wall share

3. Each like and share you email me gets you one (1) entry into the contest. Enter as many times as you like (obviously, each share must be on a different friend’s wall)

4. Contest ends midnight PST Wednesday 8.21.13.

You can win a beautiful beer mug with “Punch-a-Bear” proudly etched into it; a militantly decorated Punch-a-Bottle which will ultimately have “Punch-a-Bear” proudly etched into it; and your choice of pen-and-ink drawing from the Store page.

For those who care: Tumblr, Facebook, and Twitter.

Love,
Tabia B.
Only Reads Modern Works

8.7.13

Punch-a-Bear Archives      Drawing for 8.7.13

Hi. I forgot today was Wednesday for a while. This is mainly because my intellect is too colossal to restrict comfortably to your human system of time management. It was an honest mistake. And I’m owning up to it. So, I’m sure that I am forgiven.

So, cannibalism. We’ve all thought about it. Some of you may have toyed with the idea in a, shall we say, more savory way. I have an aversion to eating the flesh of any animal. But, I am interested in what human meat tastes like. If given the opportunity in a way that let me be morally and ethically off the hook, I don’t know what I would do. I just don’t know.

I know that you’re all changing your wills now so that I am allowed to eat your barbequed remains.

Now you can buy Punch-a-Stuff (AKA merchandise) to improve your quality of life and impress your friends.

For those who care: Tumblr, Facebook, and Twitter.

Love,
Tabia B.
“She Who Sometimes Goes Too Far”